3 Facts for the Day

10 12 2012

1. Bring on the irrational, erratic mood swings ladies and gentleman. It’s not too bad so far, but like the cold front that came in, I know it’s coming. Subtle signs abound. There’s a great new show on A&E called Panic 911. Reminds me of the old Rescue 911, but juicier. Can’t watch it. I tried last night. I kept getting choked up over those poor people’s circumstances. Last night I bawled because I was afraid that my two year old thinks I don’t love her anymore. Meanwhile, she’s in the other room watching Dora and eating fruit snacks, completely content. Enter weird dreams. I dreamed this morning that I had taken Bailey home, but for some reason I lived in the old neighborhood in Guntown where I lived for 6 months in 3rd grade. My sister came over and I fixed dinner; had one of those freezer bags you steam in the microwave. When it beeped done, I was horrified to see I had cooked fetal kittens with the placenta still attached. Yep, it’s gonna be a wild ride. Stayed tuned for the sequel to One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.
2. It’s certainly challenging having Chloe and Bailey. Bailey is demanding so much of my attention and energy and time. Ben has really stepped in and become Chloe’s bestest buddy, but it’s still hard for her. She woke from her nap and cried for Momma. I was of course nursing Bailey who was finally asleep. Every time I’m nursing Bailey, Chloe comes to me and says in this pitiful voice “hold me!” It doesn’t help my mood any that when I do hold her after holding the baby, that she now seems huge to me! Where did my little baby Chloe go?! Last night she came into the bedroom and asked me to come watch TV with her. I told her I felt like laying in bed. So, she asked me again, more persistently. Then she said “Momma, I’m hurting. Please come watch TV with me!” You know I did. Then I rocked her. My plan was to rock her to sleep while Bailey slept. Just as Chloe’s eyes were closing, Bailey began to cry. I didn’t jump right up, even though I wanted to. Instead I looked at Chloe’s wide eyes and gave her a big smile and kiss. She said “I wanna go see why the baby’s crying.” I said ok and let her down. Then she said, “Come on Momma. Come see why the baby’s crying.” I think we’re gonna be ok. It’s an adjustment for sure, but the blessings outweigh the challenges.
3. Well, we made it through our first night at home. As I was nursing and rocking Bailey before bedtime, I thought, “This isn’t so hard the 2nd time around.” I had her swaddled, something I hadn’t really done with Chloe, though mostly because I couldn’t get the hang of it. I had gotten her to take a pacifier so she wouldn’t just use my nipple for that (something Chloe was famous for). I had already given gas drops at the earliest sign of stomach upset (something I picked up later on with Chloe). I was ahead of the game! Can you predict what happened? Got my daily dose of humility! She awoke for her 3 am feeding and would not go back to sleep! The nursing session didn’t seem to satisfy her. She kept rooting around with an open mouth that wouldn’t latch. She screamed, sometimes like a pterodactyl. I didn’t know what was wrong and just tried everything. A newborn’s cry can be the sweetest sound on earth, but then it can also be the most brain piercing, nails on chalkboard screech there is. Ben took a turn, then I spelled him. Thank God for my partner! At 6 am, she was exhausted and nursed briefly before falling asleep for good. She slept very soundly until 11 am and I had to coax her awake twice during that time to feed her. Looking back this morning, Ben and I agreed that 3 hours of crying wasn’t really that bad. But it certainly seemed that way at the time. He made coffee and we agreed that we’ll all find our rhythm. It will just take time.
That is all 🙂

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