3 Facts for the Day

7 01 2013

1. As I start to write this post, I’m sitting in the Pediatrician’s office. I feel spent. It has been a very trying past 30 hrs or so. After my post yesterday, I went to nurse Bailey and she wouldn’t latch on. Her past couple of nursing sessions had been poor quality anyway and when I felt her diaper, my heart sank a little (for the first time of what would be many). It wasn’t dry, but it wasn’t full either. And so began my internal clock, counting the hours until she would drink/pee.
2. All day yesterday, Bailey seemed more congested. She would try to sleep, but could never truly rest because her constant coughing would wake her. It broke my heart to hear her racked with a cascade of terrible coughs, that still remained too weak to be productive yet would cause her to let out a pitiful, hoarse cry. The sound was like a knife in me and her cry spoke to me saying, “Mommy. Help. I can’t understand what’s happening.” After 5 hrs and no intention by her to nurse, I gave her my milk in a bottle. I’m assuming because a bottle is less work, she drank! I was so happy. Within 10 minutes, she vomited up a very large amount. It was mostly mucous and strung from her mouth, so thick. I was happy that she got that up. Then I fed her a little bit more since she had vomited her last feeding and her diaper was still dry. 20 minutes later, she projectile vomiting again, loosing all that milk and the medicine I had given her. Third time was a charm and she kept an ounce and a half down. She slept two hours then it started again. Terrible coughing was followed by more poor feeding, then more vomiting of all she’d taken in. Nearly dry diapers were coupled with inability to rest at all. Around 5 am, she started with a fever of 102.1. I had just given 2.5 ounces via bottle and bam; she projectile vomited again. I prayed. I cried. I actually pleaded with her, telling her we were going to have to go to the ER and get IV fluids. And then she turned her head and opened her mouth; the universal sign that she wanted to breastfeed. She did and she kept it down. We rested, me sitting up in a chair in the living room; her laying on my chest.
3. Ben and I agreed that a visit back to the Dr was warranted. Our Pediatrician heard a slight wheeze and crackles in her left lung base. White count was elevated. He made a diagnosis of pneumonia. Her oxygen level was good. We all agreed that she could come back home tonight. She got a shot of decadron and rocephin. We’ll pick up breathing treatments and give those. The next 24 hours will be important. Like last night, we’ll be in a constant battle to insure she gets enough fluid in her. If her intake and output improve, we stay home. If it doesn’t, we get admitted to the hospital. After Bailey’s shot I had to wait around to insure no allergic reaction. Ben took Chloe to the car. As I sat there by myself, I began to cry. The worry that I had pushed aside for my baby came crashing on me. Before Ben left, he said, “I know God has a purpose for this or He would have healed her already.” It’s reassuring to have a relationship with Christ, where you know His character and understand His goodness. When you know this, you can have peace and faith even when things are not perfect, because you know He has a perfect plan in mind and you trust in that. It doesn’t mean it’s easy or without heartbreak. It just means you don’t feel helpless. You feel a measure of peace and hope that sustains you through your trial. I will take care of my baby tonight and God will give me the strength I need.
That is all 🙂

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