3 Facts for the Day

16 02 2013

1. I have a lot of different emotions for a Friday. There’s no doubt that my hormones are still out of whack, but putting them aside, I think it really has more to do with what happens around me. I almost feel like I’m in the vortex of a tornado, and the forces surrounding me are moving much faster than myself. I often feel like my life is a race right now. If it were a NASCAR race, it would probably be the track in Richmond. It definitely feels like a short track, for I’ve been speeding all week and I’m back at Friday already. I have 5 days off every week, but they go by so quick. I can’t help but feel a little melancholy over going to work in the morning. I pray not to feel that way, but I can’t help feeling a bit sad about leaving my babies. Or sometimes I feel like my life is a circus. I’m certain it looked that way to the crowd of eyes watching the fiasco that was me bringing my kids and bags into Kroger and trying to secure a suitable cart. I certainly felt center ring as Chloe screamed shrilly that she didn’t want to sit in the basket and I muscled the infant carrier into another buggy. A teenage girl actually looked at me with disgust and said “Do you need help or something?” Glad I could prevent another episode of 16 and Pregnant. So there’s one emotion for you; melancholy, dipped in self pity.
2. Don’t worry. I never let that one hang around for long. How could I? I’m usually so steeped in joyful amusement, I don’t have a chance. Bailey had her 2 month appt. yesterday. She had grown a lot. The chubby cheeks, pot belly, and Michelin Man legs had given me a clue. When you have to move fold after fold to clean the poopie, you’re doing good. 90th percentile in weight. Chloe is on her 2nd day of wearing panties with zero accidents. Ben and I are exhausted, but pleasantly so. Chloe kicks Ben all night. Bailey keeps the whole house awake with her grunting in her sleep. Ok, actually, she just keeps Ben and I awake. Chloe sleeps on, kicking away in her dreams. Ben said Bailey sounds like she’s climbing Mt. Everest. I suppose Chloe is running the Boston Marathon. Glad someone has the energy and physical stamina. So there’s another; joy intertwined with amusement and a side of exhaustion.
3. I always feel pride for my girls and my selfless man, but today I got an extra measure of pride to add to my emotional pocketbook. I went to visit my baby sister. She is home now with a baby of her own. I really enjoyed watching her hold her son, so gentle, yet so natural. He seemed so comfortable with her, as only a child can feel in their Mother’s arms. She knew how to soothe him. We exchanged conversation on breastfeeding and I offered any meager tips I’ve picked up along the way. I brought her a quick meal I fixed. It felt nice to pay forward the generosity others had given me in the way of advice and food. I didn’t want to leave, but knew well enough that my children needed naps. As I drove away, I prayed for her and her son. There’s another; pride swaddled in love, with a cushion of nostalgia. As our day winds down here, Chloe watching cartoons, and Bailey napping in my lap; I feel one of the best emotions of all: peace, saturated with blessed contentment.
That is all đŸ™‚

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