3 Facts for the Day

16 03 2013

1. Early this morning as I cradled my sleeping daughter in my arms, both of us dozing after a feeding session; I startled awake and thought for certain that the still little baby wasn’t breathing. As I watched her, she immediately started breathing. Later as I got ready for work, I thought about my children and prayed for them as I usually do. I thought of how hard it is to leave your children in the care of another. It’s not a matter of your sitter not being qualified to care for them. They are. I think it’s just always difficult to give over the reigns to someone else. I think sometimes you can also feel like you burden those trying to help you. Every time I leave my kids for the day, it’s a challenge for me.
2. This morning it came to my mind how my former self used to see this situation. I’ve learned that what you think you know about child raising, when you don’t have any, is a sadly mistaken opinion. I remember a co-worker years ago talking about breastfeeding her 18 month old and how he slept with them. I smiled at her, but was secretly appalled. I remember thinking “I’m only going to breastfeed the first year of life and my child will never be in my bed!” False assumptions of what you think you will do, have a way of biting you in the buttocks later on. I also remember a few friends who had children before me. When their 2nd child rolled around, they took off work to be stay at home moms. I remember thinking “don’t they get bored? Isn’t that just an excuse to not work? I’m gonna be a Mom and have a career!” Oh my goodness. I just want to go back in time and kick myself where the sun don’t shine. What a pious idiot I was.
3. Nothing like trying to remove your own foot from your mouth. Yes my friends from long ago, I am sorry. I now realize how hard it is to raise a family. I know how hard it is to work a job outside the home while doing it. I know how hard it is to kiss your babies goodbye as you walk out the door. My only solace is my faith in God. I take peace in knowing he has my children in His hand. I take comfort knowing He is aware of my dreams and desires I hold in regards to taking care of my children. This is not something I’ve perfected. I am not ashamed to say that this is something I’m working on. I have to remind myself anew every time I walk out the door. He is in control. I trust in that.
That is all đŸ™‚

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