3 Facts for the Day

19 03 2013

1. I’ve discovered a small known fact among seasoned Moms. I’ve now come to accept it, for I cannot change it. Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches and hope you’ll be standing before the bell rings. I now know that when little kids are in the house, definitely when more than one, but especially when more than two; it is not possible to keep a truly clean, by definition, home. The best you will be able to do is pick up the obvious mess before more mess piles on top of it, creating an avalanche effect. The goal is to minimize the mass chaos as much as possible, while still maintaining all the other tasks that must be completed to keep the family fed, clothed, and happy. If you are a former clean freak like myself, then I am truly sorry. I know this may be difficult for you, but put the pledge down! Trust me. They’re just gonna end up smearing cheese and chocolate milk on the table when you’re done. Forget the Tide, pre-treater of stains, pen. The stains will be so many that you’ll end up just blotting them with a wet wipe. That is if you end up bothering with it at all. Welcome to the jungle baby! You just gotta try and survive.
2. One thing I’ve discovered, to be honest, is that there’s just too much fun stuff to do, instead of wasting my time cleaning baseboards. But sometimes, the to-do’s that don’t get to-done can get down right to-scary for even the most lackadaisical. Such was the case with my carpets. My vacuum was the best looking paperweight I’ve ever seen. I thought maybe it could at least push the large pieces of debris to one pile or something, but even that simple act seemed too complicated for my vacuum to complete. It much preferred to just take up a large amount of space in the coat closet. I guess you could say it sucked, but not in the way it was destined to. As it was, birds were beginning to knock at my door asking if they could come in and collect the loose threads, fuzz, and general trash from my floor to use for their spring time nests.
3. I’m such a penny-pinching, hard-headed ninny, that I probably would have continued to haul my useless, rolling leaf blower from room to room and performed my senseless and repetitive role of pushing it from corner to corner hoping for a change in its decided nature to not suck up even the smallest piece of dust. Ahhg! Curses you Sultan of Suck! In flies my super hero, my knight in shining armor, my sensible partner in life that I call by the simple title, Husband. He convinced me to bite the bullet, to give up on Old Nelda as I’ve been known to affectionately call her, to just surrender to the fact that I need a new vacuum cleaner. It was so simple. We went, we looked, and we purchased. Have my ears ever heard such a lovely motor purr?! It was so invigorating, so liberating to pass the vacuum apparatus over my junk yard floor and watch the miracle of suction take place right before my very eyes. Had I ever seen such a site?! What type of black magic was this?! You vacuum the floor and the dirt and dust is no more! Glory be! And so quick, like lightening it passes over the carpet leaving beautiful vacuum trails in its wake. We’re so excited over here that we’ve been running all willy nilly, dropping Cheerios underfoot, without a care if they crush to tiny pieces, no fear of reprisal inhibiting our wild snack food nature. In record time, all floors were clean. This gave us plenty of daylight time to go outside and play. And boy did we ever! Good times were had by all. As we all headed back inside, my former clean freak self took note of all the dirt and grass that was tracked back through the house. Oh my new little vacuum friend, my new Defender of Dirt, you have no idea what you’re up against. Welcome to the jungle!
That is all 🙂

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