3 Facts for the Day

28 03 2013

1. Do you all remember Ben’s puppy, the former chewer of my bras and urinator of rugs everywhere? She is still a part of the Gowen family. When I was as pregnant as a whale, (far too hormonal, exhausted, and off balance, literally, for an energetic puppy) she relocated to her own little house in the backyard. She seems happy out there and gets plenty of play and exercise from Ben. As she gets older, Ben reminded me she hasn’t been neutered yet. This, of course, comes to our minds just as Spring is here and all things are twitterpated. Yes, Millie is in heat. Ben put her in her outdoor pen to ride out the fertility storm. I’ve had the blinds open and have been privy to see many a male caller. Earlier I glimpsed quite the romantic tragedy. A large, black lab entered stage right, sniffing away. She sees him and her tail tells the tale, that she is ready and willing to make his acquaintance. He looks up and sees his true love, if only for an interlude. I couldn’t help it. In my head I heard Lionel Richie’s “Hello. Is it me you’re looking for?” Like a poor Romeo and Juliet, there love affair has been cut short by Juliet’s well meaning parents. It has nothing to do with his breeding, though. A lab by any other name would smell just as sweet to her. (You better get that Shakespearian reference). Actually, he seems to be the one doing the smelling.
2. Last night Ben came home with Chloe two Potato Heads, a Mr & Mrs. As I started to play with them with her, I was transported back to my early childhood. I told Chloe, “This used to be Mommy’s favorite toy when she was little.” If the truth be told, it was my only toy, at one point. Some of you know and done don’t, but when I was five years old, my childhood was very unstable. My Mom and I went here and there, after my biological Father, hoping frequent moves would somehow calm his need to flee. It never did. He would still leave eventually, taking all the money with him. We’d be left on our own in an unfamiliar town. Eventually he’d return and the cycle would start again. Between Kindergarten and 2nd grade, I attended five schools. My toys that came with me, stayed in boxes if they came at all. I remember living in a one bedroom motel room at one point. My Mom gave me her tape recorder. This is the one toy I had, and I would go into the bathroom for privacy and record songs I wrote for entertainment. I remember a cherished Mr Potato Head, who eventually got left behind as well. My toys and pets were unconventional. I sometimes played with dry ice and 60cc syringes my Mom would bring home from work at the lab. My pets were lab rats who’s professor had lost his funding for further research.
3. I don’t tell you this so you can feel sorry for me. I tell you so you can know who I am, and some of the things that shaped the person you now see. First, I in no way blame my Mom for the Nomad lifestyle we lived in my early childhood. She was trying to save a marriage with a man who wasn’t willing to give, but only take. I respect her for how long she tried to make things work. I think the solidarity molded my imagination and creativity. I think the circumstances allowed my Mom to constantly and consistently show me how very much she loved me. I recall her giving me the last of the food, and her going without. And no, I’m not exaggerating. I never doubted how much she loved me, or to what extent she would give so that I could have. I didn’t need a box full of toys to know that either. I wonder sometimes if I give Chloe so much to try and compensate. It’s so odd to me that I would behave in this way, knowing that stuff has no bearing on love! I guess I could psychoanalyze myself for days, but I won’t go there. I don’t really need to. The one thing I’ve always liked is that I don’t allow negative things in my past to define my future. Don’t ever let that happen! Grow from it, learn from it, but never use it as an excuse to not be everything God has for you. I don’t think God wanted my biological Father to be such a poor example of what a Father is, but I know that He’s been able to use it to mold my character. I know that He sent me another earthly Father to raise me wonderfully, and that God has also been able to bring me to a closer embrace as my Heavenly Father as well. I really got off subject from starting with a Mr Potato Head, but we’ll just blame it on all that time alone in the bathroom.
That is all 🙂






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