3 Facts for the Day

2 04 2013

1. Our household was shaken awake this morning by a blood curdling scream. After the initial shock, complete with racing heart rate, I discovered the screeching yell not to be one of pain or distress. It was punctuated with giggles and hiccups in between, a cacophony of shrill attention demanding calls. We all reluctantly rose from our sweet slumber thanks to our 4 month old tornado siren in the other room. When I opened the door and peered down at her, she immediately broke into the biggest toothless grin this side of the nursing home. I could never be mad at her shrill screams for attention when I’m rewarded with such a sweet smile. Ben says I’ll grow tired of her new found screaming, and cease to find it adorable. Right now I’m still laughing thankfully. Princess Chloe didn’t take well to being roused from her beauty sleep, and candidly explained as much to me later in the morning. “I don’t like when the baby screams. It wakes me up. Tell her not to do it Momma!” Explaining infant behavior to a two year old is like trying to explain two year old behavior to me. They’re/I’m not going to be able to comprehend the intricacies of it all. By any rate, I found myself in a joyous place where both girls were out for the count by 11 am.
2. As a Mother of young children, you seldom have the joy of simultaneous naps. At nighttime sure, but during the day, it’s a rarity to find yourself in such a quiet environment. I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I was akin to a deer frozen in headlights. I was in such shock that I was afraid if I made any sudden movements it might rip the very fabric by which this miracle had been woven. First things first, I poured a 2nd cup of coffee. By golly, I was gonna drink the whole thing while it was still hot, with no disruptions in my sipage. Next, feeling a little risky, I drew a hot bath. I was gonna enjoy a hot bath with my hot coffee. All by myself. I couldn’t help it. My next order of business involved bragging to my husband via text of my good fortune. I even sent a picture lest he not believe. I was rewarded minutes after my gloating with the sound of a crying baby, and 45 seconds later by a sleepy eyed toddler wandering into the bathroom. I hurriedly washed my face, realizing I’d been had. As I splashed the soap from my eyes, I heard the two year old start shrieking. I opened my eyes to find her peeing all over the bathroom floor. It must of snuck up on her for she seemed quite distressed over the whole thing. My hot relaxing bath became a luke warm, urine laden clean up for two. And you know what? My coffee got cold.
3. I did manage to have a very exciting day of clean up. Aside from the usual household picking up of toys and dish washing just to prevent A&E from coming to my house and filming, I was lucky enough to accomplish one of the most procrastinated chores of all time. Get ready for it. Today I cleaned out the refrigerator. I didn’t really want to do it. I don’t think one ever does. It’s usually circumstance that forces you into the task. I couldn’t stack things any higher, and juice boxes were starting to avalanche onto guests when they tried to retrieve anything from the inside of the cavern that was my fridge. The door has taken to not staying shut because it’s so packed with salad dressing bottles, 1/2 empty ketchup containers, and multiple pickle jars, all with approximately one pickle in each. I also realized I was completely out of Tupperware containers. When I peered into the abyss of said refrigerator, I could glimpse in the distance, forgotten leftovers stored in plastic bins. It was an adventure even Indiana Jones would not have balked at completing. I found forgotten and now forbidden fruit. I discovered outdated lunch meat and multiple containers of sour cream. There were actually 3 containers of different aged rotel dip. Who could eat that much cheese and live to tell of it? When was the last time I drank that orange juice?! Oh, look, jello! I think. I began tossing in the trash and pouring down the sink. Cleaning out the fridge is when you discover just how important or unimportant your Tupperware collection is to you. Is it worth keeping and risking opening the lid and unleashing the toxic odor it contains? Even the strongest stomach is put to the test. Being frugal, I tried to save every container. I found myself with a stopped up sink. I dug chicken noodles from the drain, dipping my hand into a collection of pickle juice, orange juice, lemonade, cheese dip, and baked beans. I stand before you now, proud, having completed the task before me. I now have plenty of shelf space available, just eager and waiting for leftovers from tonight’s supper.
That is all 🙂

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