3 Facts for the Day

30 04 2013

1. Today has felt like an odd day. I’ve felt almost bipolar. I mean no insult to anyone with a mood disorder. I think I could probably be diagnosed with one if I sat on a psychiatrist’s couch long enough. I think we all, especially women, have days where you feel the blues a little more than usual. I think anyone who claims they don’t is either lying or hormonally deficient. I personally can’t stand it. I love joy, embrace it even. So when sadness finds its way into my little world I get perturbed. I almost feel guilty, wondering how a woman so blessed in life can feel down. I understand guilt is just another lie that further drags your mood into the muck, but knowing something doesn’t always prevent it from happening or change the outcome.
2. I know a down day pretty quickly. It will usually start with the way I’m seeing myself that day. Maybe you can follow my line of thinking. Some days I wake up and hit the shower, and I think “Dang. I look pretty good today!” The mirror is flattering on those days. You feel certain you’ve probably lost a pound or two, or perhaps that new age-defying moisturizer is finally doing the trick. Other days, you wince when you see your reflection. You feel extra “puffy” and nothing fits right. You try on outfit after outfit, hoping for the right combination, but never finding it. You eventually settle for something that you’ll be self conscious in anyway for the entire day. This is going to be the day that you get bad news by phone. It’s the day nothing will work like it’s supposed to work. You’ll break a nail. The bulb will go out in the fixture that’s hard to reach. You won’t be able to open that jar while cooking dinner. Oh, and it’s definitely gonna be a bad hair day! I hate “don’t work, self critical, blue days”!
3. Throughout my blue day, I was bombarded with tiny moments of happiness, working hard to overshadow my sadness. It was like the sun trying to peek out from behind the clouds, and a gentle wind to blow the storm clouds away. I was gifted with moments in time: a tiny bow in my baby’s hair as she smiled with big eyes at me, pushing Chloe in the swing and hearing her giggle with joy, a walk in the neighborhood with my family, a glimpse at my husband when he didn’t know I was looking (he had just shaved and I thought he looked so handsome and young), pulling out baby clothes for Bailey from a bin in the shed and seeing the little outfits my sweet Chloe used to wear, grilling dinner with my man, watching my baby girl play with my first doll (so glad Mom kept it), watching Ben and some neighborhood fellas try their hearts out to pull a broken branch down (comical really), watching the baby kick excitedly in her bath tub, and watching Chloe fall asleep in her towel after her bath (such a fun day she couldn’t even make it in time for me to get pajamas). I gather all these happy thoughts, and something wonderful happens. The clouds do part! I guess some days you just need to reflect on the things that make you smile to chase your frown away.
That is all šŸ™‚
Well, almost all. I will say, that maybe some days that won’t work. Some days just want to be blue. So for those days, don’t give up hope. Continue to reach for your happy thoughts and say a little prayer for strength. Joy comes in the morning.
And that is all šŸ™‚

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