3 Facts for the Day

3 06 2013

1. Today I had lunch with some old classmates from high school. I didn’t get to spend as much time there as I would have liked. I had an appointment to go to, and two young children in tow, with the two year old in need of a nap. The thing is, though a very short reunion, a great many things were revealed to me. Y’all know I’m a thinker, and my mind is always open to what God may reveal to me through day to day situations. I was invited to this gathering via a social networking outlet. My husband may think my Facebook is silly, but I’m pretty happy about the fact that it allows you to reconnect with people you haven’t seen in a while, or stay connected with people who live far away. I’ll honestly admit first off, that the group I met up with was not my circle of friends in school. I’ll secondly admit, I’m not sure I had a circle of friends. In junior high and high school, I was a cheerleader, so I often made friends with other cheerleaders. I had a very few close friends. I’ve blogged on them before. I was what you might call a misfit, and chose people I felt comfortable around. Sadly, high school can be a time where you are influenced by what others think. Even a misfit will try and fit in, and may inadvertently ridicule others to try and find their place in the social mainframe.
2. As a few stories were tossed about at the table today, it became apparent to me that I had missed getting to know these girls really well back then. In turn, they didn’t know me either. Incidents that had a huge impact on my life, were simply poorly recalled stories without definitive facts. This wasn’t their fault. It was simply the nature of the high school machine. Seeing that we never gave each other the opportunity to know each other and our true character at that time, made me a little sad. While I was happy that time and current shared interests had connected us now, I was disappointed that it had taken so long. I reflected on how I had been a people pleaser in the past. I think I yearned to be liked. Throughout my childhood, I had been the new kid, or the weird kid, the sick kid, or the adopted kid. The funny thing is, maybe no one saw me that way. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I just saw me that way. Either way, I think my own feelings of being different, and seeking approval by others, caused me to end up distancing myself from many.
3. I really enjoyed meeting up with this group of girls I had only had a faint relationship with in school. I almost didn’t go, to be honest. Once anti-social, always anti-social. Right? Maybe not. I realize I’ve changed, and I like it. I’m not who I used to be. If you are an old acquaintance reading this, I’ll tell you, “You don’t know me.” If you’re an old close friend of mine, I’ll tell you, “Dig deep for the best things you know of my personality and multiply them.” Something strange happens to a person when self-conscious feelings and rejection are banished from your personality. When you don’t love yourself, others will never know you. You’ll be too buried under onion peel layers of self doubt. For me, a relationship with Jesus is what helped me discover my true character. Seeing how God loved me, helped me to love myself. This in turn, taught me how to love others. I wasn’t the girl whose biological father gave her up. I wasn’t the misfit. I wasn’t the girl whose first marriage failed. I was a child of God. I am His beloved. My true character He created could shine. I try now to smile a little sooner, and introduce myself a little easier. I can’t turn back the hands of time for a do over, but I can do my life now the way it needs to be. Thanks for second chances.
That is all 🙂

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