3 Facts for the Day

16 06 2013

1. I’ve felt pretty strongly about what I needed to share today. I’ve blogged briefly on this before, but if you missed it, here you go. I also feel the base premise is worthy of repeating. I don’t wish to dedicate an entire post to the lack of relationship with my biological Father. Rather, I want it to be about what God has done in my life related to it. That’s the important part. I think you can either see the negative side of things, or choose to accentuate the positive.
2. Originally my biological father tried to keep a relationship with me after my Dad adopted me. I strongly believe it was more due to the urging of his new wife than anything. I remember my last visit. I had just turned 9 years old. I remember this well because I took my Birthday money with me to his house. I remember he asked if he could borrow it to buy a carton of cigarettes. Of course, I agreed. Of course, I never saw the money again. I hardly saw him the entire 2 weeks. He worked, and left me home with his step-son to babysit me. It was a horrible visit. I remember after I got home it just hit me that I didn’t want him to be my Dad anymore. I liked my new Dad so much better. I remember being so angry. I took a crayon and wrote on my white dresser, “I hate Randy” (his first name). I went and told my Mom that I didn’t want to see Randy again.
3. When I learned the Father Heart of God that I spoke of in my previous post, my mindset on life began to change. I posted yesterday on letting go of past hurts. One way to do that is to forgive. That anger from that little 9 year old girl lashing out on her bedroom furniture was still there. God showed me how to let it go. It didn’t happen overnight as I’m prone to say. It actually took 6 months from the time God told me to forgive him, until I was able to call him up and honestly tell him I had. I met him for a day together in Memphis. It was 12 years since I had seen him. Afterwards I remember my Dad seeming upset in the car. Finally he asked, “Do you call him Daddy?” It almost makes me cry to think of that. I told him honestly that day, “No. You’re my Daddy.” Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to become bosom buddies with the offender. It’s more about letting go of anger or sadness that drag you down. Randy made an effort to keep contact the 2nd time around. On my Birthday he sent me an atlas and a Billy Graham book. He knew I was a Christian and a missionary. It occurred to me as I looked at my books that he really didn’t know me at all. It didn’t make me angry, just sad. I noticed the cards he sent were in his wife’s handwriting (wife # 4 for him). We eventually drifted apart again. When my Mother died, I called him. His response was “Oh s@#* Brie, that sucks.” I was reminded that he just wasn’t cut out to be a Dad. I’m sad for him and the opportunity he lost to know his children (no, I’m not the only one). I’m not angry anymore. I’m not hurt anymore. God moved me past that. This situation afforded me the opportunity to gain a wonderful man as my Dad. I got to be a big sister. Most importantly, I was able to appreciate my Dad for the wonderful man he was, never taking him for granted.
That is all 🙂

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