3 Facts for the Day

19 06 2013

1. As I sit her blogging after baths and bedtimes, I feel more at peace. I can’t pinpoint why, but my day didn’t start the way it’s ending. I went to visit my Dad today. I’ve always been close to him. We had our moments when I was a willful teenager, but I never disrespected him, and I never had anything but love for him. As I became an adult, our relationship matured into a beautiful thing. We’ve always been able to sit down together and talk for hours, without running out of things to say. I can divulge my deepest secrets and heart-felt concerns to him, and receive his wise counsel in return. About a year after my Mom’s death, my Dad met another woman. They got married a little bit later. From the initiation of their relationship, I was very happy for him. She made him happy again, and that’s all my Mother would have ever wanted. My only negative thought would be how things have changed since then. It’s not anyone’s fault; I guess it just happened. When my Mom was alive, my parent’s home was constantly full with us kids, even the ones that didn’t live there. I saw my Dad a couple of days a week, and it was common for me to stay the night and talk with him until the sun came up. Along the time Dad got remarried, I also had children. So I’m willing to accept partial responsibility for the lag in our relationship. I’ll be honest, though, to say that it’s really bothered me not seeing him as much as I used to.
2. I’ve had a couple of things on my mind thus far this week. I had a really bad Sunday at work. It had nothing negative to do with the hospital, my unit, or its staff. It was just a rough day in a critical care unit with critically ill patients. Most days are tough in that kind of setting, but the past two weeks have been especially so. It makes me wonder if how I’m handling the stress of the environment is changing, and that’s caused me concern. I usually let that all fall behind me as I run out the door, but yesterday I was surprised to see it had followed me. The first part of the day I felt rather downtrodden reminiscing on the weekend. I couldn’t shake it for half the day, and that really bothered me. Then today was one of those days in Motherhood where you cry out loud to God, near tears, begging Him to change your attitude before you inadvertently do something you regret. I mean one of those days where all the kids are cranky and you wonder “where did my sweet child go?” It seems like sometimes on those days, it’s just too much and you don’t handle it like you want to. Instead, you want to walk out and not look back. But of course, you don’t. On days like that, I always end up feeling humbled in God’s presence, and ask Him to strengthen me and help me grow into the Mother He wants me to be.
3. All these things, plus other concerns on my back-burner, were present when I got to Dad’s. At first I made idle chit-chat, small talk. Since we don’t see each other as much, I don’t get to unburden myself on him anymore. I wasn’t sure if I felt comfortable confiding in him. But he’s my Dad, so eventually I did. He didn’t have all the answers or a perfect solution at hand, but he listened thoroughly and with unconditional love. It reminded me of Our Heavenly Father, how these circumstances paralleled each other. Sometimes you can fall out of relationship with God (your Father), and not talk with Him as much. You stop confiding and may think, “He just doesn’t love me like He used to.” Funny thing is, no matter your assumptions, He’s still your Dad. You can still make the effort to go to His house and lay your concerns down at His feet. He will always listen and provide His counsel. He may not provide you with your answer right then, but His peace will fall on you after you get the weight of worry off your chest. Today my Heavenly Father used my earthly Father to remind me just that. I feel peace now, and that is good. I still have concerns, but they are not mine alone.
That is all šŸ™‚

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