3 Facts for the Day

18 07 2013

1. I blog frequently about my children. Why? It’s because they captivated my heart. I’ve been known to blog about my husband before as well. Why? It’s because he is my heart. And I am his. We are one unit. I suppose that may sound silly to you. If you see your spouse as your flesh of flesh, your partner, or as some say, “my better half”, then maybe that doesn’t sound silly to you at all. I think it tends to embarrass my husband when I blog “sweetness” directed at him. He must not want everyone knowing what a catch he is in my eye. So, for his benefit, I’ll attempt to keep the mushy parts to a minimum. We’ll say that this blog is not so much about my spouse, as it is about the partnership we have built together.
2. Today the girls and I went swimming with some other family. We had a great time, but I couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t quite right. I realized that I was missing my spouse. I wanted him to be there with me to share in this moment of fun. I had someone mention to me how hard my spouse worked, and in fact, how much he had changed for the better. “He’s not the only one!” was my thought. I blogged before how my daughter Chloe inspired me to change my life. I described how God used her as a catalyst for change. While Chloe inspired, Ben encouraged. His steadfast encouragement and belief in me, were ever present, even when I didn’t or couldn’t believe in myself. I was told once, “You were good for him.” I will tell you, we were good for each other. I always knew Ben’s heart. I could see the goodness inside him. He could see through me, through the facade I put up for everyone else. He saw through the mess I had become to the beauty inside. He’s probably the closest of anyone to see me as God sees me. He knew my heart, and pushed past the rest. I saw him the same. He made me feel pretty and confident again; something very hard for a girl who has been shown nothing but how easy she is to give up, or that she’s lacking in some way. I made him realize he could be loved despite anything, and let down his guard. We tore down each others’ fences. It wasn’t an easy task. We had to persevere. Sometimes I think we both felt defeated in getting through the muck to find the jewel we knew existed in each other. There are times I think we took a step back and wondered if it was possible or worth it. Then we remembered that heart we cherished so much. We dug deeper and pulled each other out of the mud.
3. The night before last I had a terrible nightmare. It was one of those dreams where you wail in anguish within your dream, feeling emotion so real that it cuts like a knife. You wake short of breath and sobbing from the weight of it. In my dream, Ben was sick, and I was confronted with the possibility of his death. It made my heart hurt. I rolled over in bed, and when I saw him laying there with his mouth wide open in the midst of good sleep, I almost screeched aloud with relief. Instead of outwardly celebrating, I scooted over and put my arm around him. I could feel the warmth of him, and the security of his presence. I cannot put into words how I feel about the thought of loosing him. I realize this is but a short journey when compared to eternity, but my mind is human, and it is small. Right now, I cherish his presence beside me, not just helping me, but rather lifting me up. I, in return, build him up as well. Back then, in the midst of confusion and blindness, we somehow saw the potential the other possessed. We nurtured it. We loved it. We prayed for it. God knew what we could accomplish together. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says “If either of them falls down, one can help the other up”, and then in verse 12, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” Why do I share all of this? I suppose I hope it may encourage someone, or help you if things are looking shaky on your end. We don’t have it all figured out! But one thing we do is love each other like Christ loves us. Even when Ben tries to drive me crazy, I look for the best in him. I find it, and I cultivate it. I water it with my adoration. The warmth of my sunny prayers give it life. Instead of searching for his faults, I work on my own. I let God deal with him. He does a much better job than I could anyway. Ben never pushed me to change and become the wife he wanted. He loved me for me. He prayed for me, and God made me become the wife He wanted me to be. And vice versa. I’m eager to see what God has for us, and how He can use the lives we have had to further His kingdom. If loving my husband with all my heart is as far as that plan goes, then I am fine with that too. I’m already off to a good start.
That is all 🙂

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2 responses

18 07 2013
ruthiespage

One of the best, most precious blogs as yet! You are both so dear to me! I love you, Ben and those sweet little girls!

18 07 2013
Brie

Thank you so much! We love you too. You’ll always be like a 2nd Mom to me 🙂

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