3 Facts for the Day

19 07 2013

1. This particular subject has been on the tip of my brain for days. Today seems like the day for it to come out, so here goes. It started this morning when I was reading a devotional. Before I even got to the author’s words, I was immediately touched by the bible verse it was using. It resounded inside me. You know when you read something and it makes the hairs stand up on your arms? It was like that. I immediately shared it with several beautiful women in my family. I felt they would be blessed by such a fitting verse. I did not yet realize that God would show me that the verse was for me.
2. This post may be more geared today towards ladies. If you’re a man reading it, please continue. It may help you understand your woman a bit better. Personally, I had a bad day. I tried to think of another word to use, but one escapes me. It wasn’t terrible, is the thing, and nothing “bad” happened, so to speak. It just tried to take on a bad light, I suppose, right from the get go. It seems like once a day starts heading that direction, there’s no stopping it. It’s a runaway wagon tearing down the hill at full speed. It will usually start with something being terribly wrong with your mirror. It seemed fine yesterday, but today something is definitely amiss. You look at your reflection and begin to pick apart every detail. “I have really got some linebacker shoulders!” you muse. You didn’t notice yesterday. Maybe it’s the shirt? So, you change. Then you change again. This will be the day your hair takes on a mind of its own. You’ll notice spider veins you didn’t see last week. You may even tell your reflection, “you’re ugly!” If anyone is unlucky enough to be in the house with you, they should beware. Small children will be especially annoying on these days. Yesterday you swear that toy didn’t play that blasted song over and over! The exterminator is going to show up unexpected. The computer will be slow when you want to use it. It’s probably not any slower than usual, but today everything seems to be conspiring against you. You’ll get bad news in the mail. “Why?!” you ask. Today, for me, it seemed like I was on edge. Everything seemed to make me want to wince in either annoyance, frustration, or despair. I could see where I was heading. I didn’t want to go there. It was that out of control wagon. “I must read my Bible” I thought. I went for it, and the baby started crying. I couldn’t focus on His word. I put it down, frustrated that I couldn’t even find solace there. I felt like hot tears were but a moment away. “Help me Lord!” I cried out loud.
3. Why do we do this? I’m sure I’m not the only one. If so, then I suppose this is a pretty embarrassing post for me, huh? I know I’m not the only woman who judges herself based on what she thinks she sees. There’s so many questions I don’t know the answer to. Did God make us this way? Do we blame it all on “the fall”? I remember once as a child being frustrated over something mundane and I blurted out, to all the adults’ amusement, “Why did Eve have to eat that apple?!” I felt like, today, God said, “I made you perfectly. What you see as weaknesses, are actually strengths. Your raw emotion gives you the capacity to love more than any creature on Earth. Even with the pain of childbirth, comes joy.” The verse I read this morning was Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.
How wonderful that made me feel. He knows every tear I cry, and He feels it too. The way my heart breaks when Chloe cries, that is my Father’s heart for me. I don’t tell Ben every time I cry. He might just think I’m crazier than he already assumes I am. It’s comforting to know there’s someone who holds each tear sacred. I think if I could just see a glimmer of what He sees when He looks upon me, I would stand in awe. I heard Beautiful by Mercyme tonight, and felt like it was just for me.

http://youtu.be/K86uudMNj08

I still don’t know why some days seem harder than others. I think sometimes I feel like I have to be joyful each and every day. I guess you have to know sorrow to appreciate joy. What I will pledge not to do, though, is fall victim to lies that I am any less than the woman God sees in me. I will also take comfort, when my emotions try to run rampant, in knowing that He holds each tear drop in His hand. I rather like, and indeed rejoice, that I have moments of weakness. It’s in these moments I am reminded to cry out, “God, I need you!” I somehow always feel better after that.
That is all 🙂

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