3 Facts for the Day

25 07 2013

1. I realize that I’ve come to a place in my relationship with my earthly Father that is unlike anywhere we’ve yet been together. My Daddy means the world to me. If you never had the opportunity to read my blog series for Father’s Day, then I would encourage you to read it first and get a good picture of my Dad’s character before going any further. You can find the first part here. When my Mother passed away, it was a hard time for us all. It was especially difficult on my Dad. I think I’ve mentioned this in a blog before, but I’ve never went into much detail. Even in a four part Father’s Day blog, I never came completely clean. There’s secrets we all hold inside, and even if you decide to open your life via a blog, there’s still many things you keep close to your chest, and like a hand of cards, you never reveal. After Mom died I worried about Daddy. He was very upset, naturally, and also very dependent on having his children close. This I also understood. If I left his house, I knew I better call once I was safely inside my own home, to prevent undue concern. Fast forward a year, and I suppose we all had changed. Grief has a way of doing that. Like the way decades of a flowing stream can carve its journey through the rock, so can grief cut its hollows in your character. Dad remarried and moved on. I can’t say much. I did the same, in a way. It’s strange living in the aftermath of a family changed. Our family home stood empty. There were no more birthday parties there. My firstborn never even sat on the floor on their living room like I had envisioned. As time has elapsed, I can see where God fashioned things to work out like they did, and I’m at peace with that. I suppose what has been difficult is feeling like I’ve lost a relationship with my Dad. No, that’s not right. Not lost, but just that it feels changed.
2. I will go weeks, sometimes months without seeing my Dad. This is something we experienced in my twenties, but I lived 1000 or so miles away. Currently we’re only 20 minutes apart. I realize I could put forth more of an effort to go see him, but it’s not always easy. It seems with the two small ones, I just get bogged down with other responsibilities. There’s times where I’m angry. I wonder why he doesn’t come see us. I prayed and prayed about it. I started to feel some understanding and less anger as God spoke to me about it. I think my Dad had an extremely difficult time after Mom’s death. I really don’t think he could have gone on like he was. The only way he knew to move forward was to leave some things behind. I’m not saying he’s forgotten about me. I just feel like he has built a new life for himself, and it’s hard to incorporate his children inside this new world. I also realize that while I’ll always be Daddy’s girl, I am no longer his little girl. I’m keenly aware that he has full confidence in my spouse to care for me. We both understand that I have left my Dad’s umbrella of protection and now stand under Ben’s spiritual umbrella. At first I think the devil wanted to break down my relationship with Dad. He found this kink and tried to break me down. I remember thinking, “Now that your Mom is gone, there’s nothing tying you two together. He has his biological children. You don’t fit anymore.” Thankfully, that self-defeating lie was short lived. I do sometimes think I remind him of Mom, with my actions, humor, and intellect. I think that’s hard for him. Different people deal with loss in different ways.
3. Have you ever noticed how some days are harder than others? Some days you just feel blah. Some days you deal okay with what life has been throwing your way. On those days you’re at peace with the low balance in your bank account. Your patience levels are high, and you feel confident in God’s plan for your life, and however long it may be in fruition. Thankfully those days are frequent, but then there’s the other days. It’s the days that are opposite of the above described. Those are the days you feel down and out. It usually seems that those days accompany a feeling of God’s absence. You know in your heart He’s there, but you just can’t seem to feel His presence. I’m not sure why, but some seasons in life just feel that way. It’s those times, I guess, that you have to really lean on what you know that you know.

2 Corinthians 5:7
For we live by faith, not by sight.

I know without a doubt that my Daddy (here on earth) loves me deeply. I could call him right now and tell him I needed his help, and he’d be here before I could whistle Dixie. No distance, no circumstance, and no amount of time can take away the relationship we share. It’s the same with my other Daddy (my Heavenly one).

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for The Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Even on the days when His presence seems far, I know in my heart He is there. Funny thing happens. When I cling to that belief and hold it tight like a child’s favorite blankie, I begin to feel His presence.
I had my Dad on my mind today, and I suppose I was on his as well. That led me to write about him today. As I was nearing the end of the post, I heard a knock on my door. It was my Daddy! We fell into our comfortable relationship as usual. Even Chloe climbed into his lap eagerly, never showing any hint of frustration over his absence. It was really nice, and felt like old times.

Whether your Dad is gone, you never had one, or there’s a wedge between you, it’s comforting to know our Papa in Heaven adores us so. Don’t worry about my Daddy and me. God showed me the character of His Father Heart by first showing me the love my earthly Dad could bestow upon me. Even on the bad days, I still know my Daddy loves me. I guess you could say I’m one blessed girl with my two Dads.
That is all 🙂

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